LifeMasteryBlog

Aloha Friends, 1/9/10

I wish each of you a happy, healthy and prosperous 2010. As I think about the New Year, I feel it is a time of renewal and new beginnings. What arises from within is the following question: What would I like to renew in the year? The answer is to fully embrace and accept all of myself, exactly as I am, which to me means total acceptance of all that is.

I know this is an inside job. Can I accept all of myself, which includes my capacities and my limitations, my positive attributes as well as my negative characteristics? Am I truly able to love myself unconditionally? Am I willing to allow myself to be, and trust that I am exactly who I am meant to be at all times?

My mind says, absolutely; my inner wisdom says, sometimes. As I explore my tendency to acknowledge and identify with the positive and deny and minimize the negative, I realize the challenge I have given myself, and I smile at the amazing possibility that total self love and self acceptance is within my grasp.

As I listen to my inner wisdom, I realize the difficultly of accepting my negativity is an old habit that has been reinforced by parents, teachers, society, religion and peers. We all want to own our positive attributes and cultivate them and develop them and are encouraged to do so. At first glance we would all agree there is no such support for owning our negativity.

As a seeker of truth and a teacher of self-awareness, I know many wise teachers from many traditions teach we must accept ourselves, exactly as we are, for evolution to happen. The challenge is to accept our negativity without acting it out on ourselves and others, rather than give in to the negativity or deny it exists.

I invite you to contemplate this challenge, and if it resonates with you please join me in accepting it as an opportunity to be the most we can be in 2010.

I send you blessings of peace, love and joy, Radha

www.lifemasteryskills.com

Aloha,
This is the balance of my discussion  on the importance of Self Acceptance that I shared during my radio interview on The Hour of Power show.

How can I accept myself when I am in a negative space?

With kindness and gentleness. Under all negative spaces are stories that when we are open to hear and know them will reveal what caused the negativity in the first place.
Each time we do an exploration to discover what is under the negative state we will see more and understand with compassion what false beliefs are supporting the negative space. With a practice, such as Life Mastery Skills, we begin to be less attached to the old story and less identified with it. The light of self awareness exposes the origins of the fixation and we are than able to let it fall away. We experience how our denial feeds the negativity and keeps it from dissolving. Nonjudgmental awareness let’s it be and it falls away on its own. WE DON’T HAVE TO EFFORT AND MAKE IT GO AWAY. Instead we use our energy to be aware of it, accept it, and chose to do it differently right now.
EXAMPLE
As I explore my tendency to deny my accomplishments, I become aware that I have one standard for others and one for myself. I am supportive, encouraging and give acknowledgment to others for what they accomplish. I barely notice when I have accomplished something new and instead my focus  is on what is next for me to accomplish. i.  e. Learning how to do web cams for youtube.
The more I become aware of this tendency and can witness it rather than judge it, I will see how far back this goes, how it is connected to being a perfectionist, how that is connected to fear of rejection from others. I also see I am not honoring and respecting myself when I do this repetitive behavior. In time I chose to have the same standard for myself as I have for others. I begin to acknowledge all I have accomplished rather than focus on the longing to accomplish it all.

How can I accept myself when I know I am insecure?

Think of a small child whom you care about. How would you treat that child when it is feeling insecure? THAT IS HOW YOU NEED TO TREAT YOURSELF…..WITH KINDNESS, TENDERNESS, COMPASSION, AND LOVE. Many of us treat ourselves with anger, frustration, and disapproval when we are insecure. This will never work because it makes us feel more insecure, more unsupported, more isolated, misunderstood, and unworthy to be loved. These attitudes breed more insecurity not less. YOU NEED ONLY SENSE YOURSELF WHEN YOU ARE NEGATIVELY REACTING TO YOUR INSECURITY TO KNOW IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER OR WORSE.

How do I know whether or not I accept myself?

YOU will be the first to know. When we accept ourselves our minds become our BEST FRIEND rather than our WORST ENEMY. Everyone of us know how we are impacted by those who judge us harshly, don’t give us a break, and are critical. The good thing is we can usually get away from those people. THERE IS NO WHERE TO RUN FROM OUR OWN JUDGMENTAL MIND. IF OUR MIND IS JUDGING US HARSHLY IT CAUSES CONTRACTION IN OUR BODIES, SHORTNESS OF BREATH, AND STRESS. In time this can cause disease (look at word dis/ease= without ease.) In time this can cause illness, pain in our muscles, rigidity in our bodies that reflect the rigidity of our minds. When we accept ourselves and the human condition we soften, relax, breath slower and more deeply, develop a sense of humor about ourselves and don’t take ourselves so seriously. WE ARE HAPPIER WITH OURSELVES AND OTHERS AND OUR LIVES BEGIN TO REFLECT THAT AND MAGIC HAPPENS AND WE NOTICE IT AS MAGIC.
May your life be filled with the peace of self acceptance, Sheila Radha Conrad, M. A.
www.lifemasteryskills.com
http://lifemasteryskills.com/blog/wordpress/

P.S I have just returned from the BraveHeart Women’s conference, It was one of the most inspiring, uplifting and heartfelt experiences of my life. I encourage all of the women receiving this letter to go to www.BraveHeartWomen.com and join this wonderful social network of women who are putting their inspiration into action to uplift humanity.