LifeMasteryBlog

Aloha,

This is the month that brings up the idea of love for many of us. I have been contemplating the meaning of love, and would like to share some of my thoughts with you.

There are many ways we experience love in our lives, usually we think of and experience love in relation to a love object: such as; love for a child, love for a husband or wife, love for our family, love for a friend, love for our Self, love for God.

Many people associate love with other objects, love of fun, love of food, love of laughter, love of dancing, love of creativity, love of sex, love of romance, love for our career, love of animals, love of nature. The list varies from person to person.

Some believe it is only worthwhile to love certain objects and less worthy to love others. I see it differently.

The State of Love is filled with certain intrinsic attributes, which are always positive, regardless of where the love is directed. Some of these attributes are caring, joy, fulfillment, and kindness, to name a few.

When we are in the State of Love we experience and benefit from the qualities of that state, whether we share our love with another or keep it inside. Often when we share our experience of love, it grows,

It is not what or whom we love, but rather that we love, that brings its own reward.

Love can be expressed regardless of our circumstances; such as in an act of kindness towards someone we know, or don’t know, having compassion for our limitations, smiling at a stranger, helping someone in need, or accepting someone as they are, rather than rejecting them for not living up to our expectations.

The State of Love is within each of us, whether we know it or not. Love is a quality of Being. It is one of life’s miracles because it heals the one that feels it, the more we give love the more love we have. We never deplete our love by giving it away, it is totally free, and always available.

I encourage you to be playful with love, see if you can give love to something or someone every day and become aware of how this makes you feel.

I wish you a life filled with the State of Love, Sheila Radha

www.lifemasteryskills.com

www.sisterhoodofclarity.com

Aloha Friends, 1/9/10

I wish each of you a happy, healthy and prosperous 2010. As I think about the New Year, I feel it is a time of renewal and new beginnings. What arises from within is the following question: What would I like to renew in the year? The answer is to fully embrace and accept all of myself, exactly as I am, which to me means total acceptance of all that is.

I know this is an inside job. Can I accept all of myself, which includes my capacities and my limitations, my positive attributes as well as my negative characteristics? Am I truly able to love myself unconditionally? Am I willing to allow myself to be, and trust that I am exactly who I am meant to be at all times?

My mind says, absolutely; my inner wisdom says, sometimes. As I explore my tendency to acknowledge and identify with the positive and deny and minimize the negative, I realize the challenge I have given myself, and I smile at the amazing possibility that total self love and self acceptance is within my grasp.

As I listen to my inner wisdom, I realize the difficultly of accepting my negativity is an old habit that has been reinforced by parents, teachers, society, religion and peers. We all want to own our positive attributes and cultivate them and develop them and are encouraged to do so. At first glance we would all agree there is no such support for owning our negativity.

As a seeker of truth and a teacher of self-awareness, I know many wise teachers from many traditions teach we must accept ourselves, exactly as we are, for evolution to happen. The challenge is to accept our negativity without acting it out on ourselves and others, rather than give in to the negativity or deny it exists.

I invite you to contemplate this challenge, and if it resonates with you please join me in accepting it as an opportunity to be the most we can be in 2010.

I send you blessings of peace, love and joy, Radha

www.lifemasteryskills.com

Aloha Friends,                                                  12/03/09

As I think about the holiday season and the tradition of gift giving, I contemplate the many gifts that life gives each of us. Often we take life’s gifts for granted and only when they are gone do we feel the value of the gift we have lost. Health is one such gift.

For the last two months I have been writing the things in my life I am grateful for and as I do this the list keeps growing. One reason this is happening is that I have begun to be grateful for everything I experience in my life whether I enjoy it or not. This is new for me. It all began when I started asking when I was in a challenging situation, what is the gift in this. This takes patience because the gift is not always immediately known.

In the past I would have asked, what is the lesson.  Although I learned from this approach, I always felt I had done something wrong and needed to learn my lesson so I could be better. By asking what is the gift, I feel positive, I am affirming there are no mistakes, I am fine the way I am and every experience, regardless how challenging, has hidden in it a gift.

This new approach is showing me that life wants us to see the gifts and relax and know that we and everyone else is perfect the way we are. My judgmental mind does not like this approach, however, whenever I do this I feel great.

The gift I send to you this holiday season is the gift of self forgiveness and the peace which comes from self acceptance. I, also, offer you the opportunity to ask yourself when you are in a challenging situation, what is the gift. I know you will be delighted with the results.

I wish you a joyous, love filled holiday season.

I send you blessings of peace, joy and love, Radha

Please visit my website
www.lifemasteryskills.com

You have been telling people that this is the Eleventh Hour. Now you must go back and tell the people that this is the Hour. And there are things to be considered:

Where are you living?
What are you doing?
What are your relationships?
Are you in the right relation?
Where is your water?
Know your garden.

It is time to speak your Truth.

Create your community.
Be good to each other.
And do not look outside yourself for the leader.

This could be a great time!

There is a river flowing now very fast.
It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid. They will try to hold onto the shore. They will feel they are being torn apart, and they will suffer greatly.

Know the river has it’s destination. The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of the river, keep our eyes open, and our head above water. See who is in there with you and celebrate.

At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally. Least of all ourselves. For the moment we do,
our spiritual growth and journey comes to halt.

The time of the lone wolf is over. Gather yourselves!

Banish the word struggle from your attitude and your vocabulary.

All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.

We are the ones we have been waiting for.

The Elders of the Oraibi, Arizona, Hopi Nations

www.lifemasteryskills.com

Aloha Friends,                                           Nov. 12, 2009

I want to explore the concept of gratitude. Many of us know it is important to feel and be grateful for our health, our loved ones, our jobs, our home, our country, and our friends.

I want to give you the opportunity to be grateful for yourselves, just as you are right now. Yes, I am suggesting you don’t need to change, improve, lose or gain weight or get a different job.

Although self improvement may be very rewarding it can also be a subtle form of self rejection, in which, we are consistently judging ourselves with the intent to make ourselves better, or good enough. What we may not realize, is under this well intentioned activity is a the unconscious belief that we are not perfect just as we are.

Yes, that means with all our limitations, flaws and imperfections, we are perfect just as we are.

Close your eyes and imagine what it feels like in your body, in your heart and mind to feel you are perfect right now and so is everyone else. Nothing needs to change to experience perfection.

Our minds do not like this at all, because the first thing that happens is the mind starts saying “there is no way my thighs are perfect” or whatever else is on your  personal list of faults you want to change.

Let’s be playful and imagine feeling a deep heart felt gratitude and love for every area in our mind and body that we think is not good enough  or at least needs improvement before we could feel love and gratitude for it.

What magic would happen if we could see ourselves with  loving and grateful eyes rather than critical eyes, right now. How would you feel toward a friend who said I will love you and be grateful for having you in my life when and if you lose weight, or get a job, or are less shy?

We do this to ourselves very often, only we may not be aware of what we are doing. I am writing to you so you will be aware and may choose to have more compassion for yourselves and be kinder and more gentle with yourselves.

I love you just as you are and I am grateful you are in my life exactly as you are right now.

My prayer and blessing is that you feel that way about yourself,  Sheila Radha

www.lifemasteryskills.com

Aloha,
This is the balance of my discussion  on the importance of Self Acceptance that I shared during my radio interview on The Hour of Power show.

How can I accept myself when I am in a negative space?

With kindness and gentleness. Under all negative spaces are stories that when we are open to hear and know them will reveal what caused the negativity in the first place.
Each time we do an exploration to discover what is under the negative state we will see more and understand with compassion what false beliefs are supporting the negative space. With a practice, such as Life Mastery Skills, we begin to be less attached to the old story and less identified with it. The light of self awareness exposes the origins of the fixation and we are than able to let it fall away. We experience how our denial feeds the negativity and keeps it from dissolving. Nonjudgmental awareness let’s it be and it falls away on its own. WE DON’T HAVE TO EFFORT AND MAKE IT GO AWAY. Instead we use our energy to be aware of it, accept it, and chose to do it differently right now.
EXAMPLE
As I explore my tendency to deny my accomplishments, I become aware that I have one standard for others and one for myself. I am supportive, encouraging and give acknowledgment to others for what they accomplish. I barely notice when I have accomplished something new and instead my focus  is on what is next for me to accomplish. i.  e. Learning how to do web cams for youtube.
The more I become aware of this tendency and can witness it rather than judge it, I will see how far back this goes, how it is connected to being a perfectionist, how that is connected to fear of rejection from others. I also see I am not honoring and respecting myself when I do this repetitive behavior. In time I chose to have the same standard for myself as I have for others. I begin to acknowledge all I have accomplished rather than focus on the longing to accomplish it all.

How can I accept myself when I know I am insecure?

Think of a small child whom you care about. How would you treat that child when it is feeling insecure? THAT IS HOW YOU NEED TO TREAT YOURSELF…..WITH KINDNESS, TENDERNESS, COMPASSION, AND LOVE. Many of us treat ourselves with anger, frustration, and disapproval when we are insecure. This will never work because it makes us feel more insecure, more unsupported, more isolated, misunderstood, and unworthy to be loved. These attitudes breed more insecurity not less. YOU NEED ONLY SENSE YOURSELF WHEN YOU ARE NEGATIVELY REACTING TO YOUR INSECURITY TO KNOW IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER OR WORSE.

How do I know whether or not I accept myself?

YOU will be the first to know. When we accept ourselves our minds become our BEST FRIEND rather than our WORST ENEMY. Everyone of us know how we are impacted by those who judge us harshly, don’t give us a break, and are critical. The good thing is we can usually get away from those people. THERE IS NO WHERE TO RUN FROM OUR OWN JUDGMENTAL MIND. IF OUR MIND IS JUDGING US HARSHLY IT CAUSES CONTRACTION IN OUR BODIES, SHORTNESS OF BREATH, AND STRESS. In time this can cause disease (look at word dis/ease= without ease.) In time this can cause illness, pain in our muscles, rigidity in our bodies that reflect the rigidity of our minds. When we accept ourselves and the human condition we soften, relax, breath slower and more deeply, develop a sense of humor about ourselves and don’t take ourselves so seriously. WE ARE HAPPIER WITH OURSELVES AND OTHERS AND OUR LIVES BEGIN TO REFLECT THAT AND MAGIC HAPPENS AND WE NOTICE IT AS MAGIC.
May your life be filled with the peace of self acceptance, Sheila Radha Conrad, M. A.
www.lifemasteryskills.com
http://lifemasteryskills.com/blog/wordpress/

P.S I have just returned from the BraveHeart Women’s conference, It was one of the most inspiring, uplifting and heartfelt experiences of my life. I encourage all of the women receiving this letter to go to www.BraveHeartWomen.com and join this wonderful social network of women who are putting their inspiration into action to uplift humanity.

“I torment myself when I don’t accept myself”, We all need to learn the skills of self acceptance without judgment to have inner peace and create a fulfilling life. www.lifemasteryskill.com FREE EX. DOWNLOADS WILL TEACH YOU HOW TO DO THIS

CHECK OUT MY NEW COLUNM CALLED “PATH TO PEACE” ON GLAM.COM

Please rate and comment on glam.  thanks, Radha

This is the latest in my series of articles on emotional intelligence and the economy. Today’s focus is on relationships.

Recessions affect virtually everyone. Although most people tighten their belts, some face more harrowing experiences: loss of a job, or a business bankruptcy.

How one handles such a wrenching time depends on their personal relationships, particularly the ones they share with their spouse or domestic partner. The emotional support derived from such a relationship can prove critical in terms of how one muddles through.

No relationship is perfect. No matter how long you are together with your partner, conflicts will occur. How you handle those conflicts will determine how you get through a challenging time. However, our inner-evaluator – the relentless voice of our own self-judgment – can often interfere with our relationships. It can give us reasons to find our partner or ourselves unacceptable. In such a situation, a period of turbulent finances can positively wreck lives.

Over the course of my career, I have developed a series of exercises designed to help people become better communicators. They are simple but deep-reaching visualization and writing tasks that are transformative. I have combined them into a single module on relationship skills. A free preview is available at http://www.lifemasteryskills.com/life-mastery-skills-relationships.html. The module itself may be purchased online.

Starting shortly, I will discuss more in-depth abuse and abusive relationships, and how to avoid both.

Peace, joy, and love, Radha. www.lifemasteryskills.com

This is another in a series of articles about how to survive in the current economic climate:

Communication is the single most important act we engage in. Nothing gets done without it.

Communication becomes even more crucial in times such as these. A tic or a downcast look can cost you a potential investor or even a job.

All communication is external, but its origins are internal. It is not only a reflection of one’s thoughts, but a manifestation of each person’s own self-evaluation.

Hand gestures, body language and stammering are all clues not only as to how a person communicates with others, but how they communicate with themselves. Insecurity can manifest in the oddest ways: a client of mine who is a physician could not accept his patients calling him “doctor.” He could not believe it when his partner paid him a compliment. It made what should have been an enriching experience torture, and contributed to what could be called a lack of bedside manner.

Such self-criticism not only stifles effective communication, but is completely self-defeating.

Over the course of my career, I have developed a series of exercises designed to help people become better communicators. They are simple but deep-reaching visualization and writing tasks that are transformative. I have combined them into a single module on communication skills. A free preview is available at http://www.lifemasteryskills.com/life-mastery-skills-communication.html. The module itself may be purchased online.
Peace, joy, and love, Radha.